when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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