I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
