i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
