ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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