Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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