Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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