i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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