Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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