nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
