no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
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Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
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