you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
