put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm passing your future prison.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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