i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
