what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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