MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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