I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
