it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
