do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
