I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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