oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
