My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
