Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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