Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
