sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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