Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I am puke
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize