if you like me you must not know who I am
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
