arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
