She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
