I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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