I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize