i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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