he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I could fuck to npr.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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