mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
