so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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