Having a random hookup so left but love u
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
