playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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