I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
