You really coming over, don't trick.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Send help, water and tortillas.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
