I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
