He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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