Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
