why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
