So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
