He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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