I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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