Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
