ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
