if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
