If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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