Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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