so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
