Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
