Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
