I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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