Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
