It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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