i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I think I just sharted jello shots
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