hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize