..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
