3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
