Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
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i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Rumble strips road head = magical
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
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Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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