I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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