yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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