Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
